I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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