She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
