she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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