im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
