Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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