so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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