"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize