If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
