Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i think i have herpe
just one?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
