Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
