They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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