the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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