as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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