Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
