i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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