And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
