ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Sorry about my life...
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
