The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
