for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize