We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
