Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
