The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Randomize
