My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
