another moral hangover. fuck.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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