I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
her vagine was all disorganized.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
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I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
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But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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