So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
