actually, I'm a sock model
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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