Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
