bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
