Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Randomize
