I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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