she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
