I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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