some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
oh god was she eating orange peels again
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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