I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
North Korea, Best Korea!
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
