The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
