you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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