Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
there is glitter all over my balls
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
