Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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