My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
