Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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