if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
