Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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