Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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