dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
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