Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
