apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
