WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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