My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Enjoy the penises
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
