So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
