I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
