16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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