Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
