Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
The power of my boobs compel you
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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