yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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