It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
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