i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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