Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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