I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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