its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize