I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
be right there i have to get my cape
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
