can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
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