I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
