remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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