i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
