i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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