She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Randomize
