So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
He passed out mid-signature
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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