Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
